You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
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Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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