Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
