She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
