dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
