im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
