I seem to have left my pride at pride
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
two words...techno handjob
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
