the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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