I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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