Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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