you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
