This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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