can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
