I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
