Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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