Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my shit smells like andre
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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