Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
