Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize