she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
