I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
