16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
