Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
