32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
