i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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