Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
