I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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