Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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