She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
