That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
is it fun? or sober?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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