i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
