Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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