If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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