in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
my nose is crying tears of wow.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
