I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
What a dumb baby whore.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
