**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
