trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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