thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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