you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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