just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
