guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
