You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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