I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Someone shattered a urinal.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
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