I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
