i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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