Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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