I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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