Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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