He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
