When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Randomize
