Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
