One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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