it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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