I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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