I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
