I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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