I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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