Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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