I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
