Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
