i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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