how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
