it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize