I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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